19 May 2024

 There was an Art Gallery at the mall where I was with my family. It was a portrait of flowers. 

While walking around the gallery, there were particular paintings that I liked. Mostly it was about sunflowers. 

While looking at it, I cried. It reminded me of a past lover who have forgotten about me. I cried because that is one of the few things embedded in my mind when I visited her room many months ago. 

For a few minutes I was crying in the Art Gallery because I remembered she loved painting. And she loved sunflowers.

I wish her the best. I want her to be happy. And if my absence brings her peace, then I will not let my presence be felt. That is the only way I can make her happy. 

How about, how am I? Lost. I am still lost. 

6:42 AM April 22, 2024

 It's Monday morning. I woke up at 4AM. 

I am living in the condo I am paying for with my own money. 

I have a good weekend, because I was with people who care about me. 

I am not even sure if people are reading this. I am hoping no one is reading this. 

I am okay. I am not a screwup. I have friends. I made mistakes. But I do learn from them. I focus on what I have and try my best to be more okay with the things that I have. I am okay. I am fine. 

I am okay. I am fine. I am okay. I am fine. I am okay. I am fine. 

Life is good. I am okay. I am fine. Everything is going to plan. I am okay. I am fine. Life is okay. 

Learn to love myself. I am okay, I am fine. Relax, Monique. Learn to love yourself. You are going to be okay. I am okay I am fine. Learn to love yourself, Monique. Everything is going to be okay. I am okay. I am fine. My life is not a mess. I am just weaving through the different emotions my body. I am okay. I am fine. I am going to be okay. I am going to fine. 

I have a good life. I have a good life. I have a good life.